Baseball Season's Under Way

I wrote this at the beginning of the 2011 baseball season and posted it as a Facebook note. Why there and not here, I don't know. So I'm bringing it here now. And why not? The Cubs have lost twelve straight coming into today. And they're down a run now.

There's a certain poetry about the Cubs and their fans. A parallel, perhaps, to the greater humanity and the widespread undying faith in a higher power that will make everything "right". Sure, it's possible. It could happen. Any millennium now.

Somehow, it remains. Nothing happens, and nothing happens, and nothing happens, and nothing happens, and nothing happens, and the faith somehow remains. We will be rescued from this existential hell! We will be saved! The Cubs are going all the way! Humanity is going all the way!

I find it fascinating that the same people in the heartland who make it a point to act as sort of local missionaries, spreading the word about our savior, should mock the Cubs and their fans for believing in something that "just ain't gonna happen".

And, of course, I'm not the least bit religious in any sense or direction. I firmly believe that anything involving deities and saviors that aren't ourselves is pure bovine fecal matter.

So why am I a Cubs fan? Maybe it's partly genetic, but the Cubs happen to strike me as simply being a uniquely likable organization, unlike any other sports entity. Yeah, the Red Sox got that cozy community feeling as well, but the Cubs' aura beats it out, to me. The Cubs can trade away the half of their major players that don't have noticeably imperfect personalities, and, in spite of what I say at that time, spring comes around, and, somehow, here I am again.

Cubs fandom is the mark of true human beings. And, in spite of my frequent talk of me coming from another planet, that ain't likely. I am human, and I find it best to roll with that.

Play ball!

I quite dislike getting the news of the death of certain pop stars. Not because I'm a fan, but because I know I'll have to put up with their insipid pop music as everyone's playing it in tribute. Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, now Donna Summer. Rest in peace, all of 'em. I know I'll be leaving them in peace.

Lolling Out Loud

Those of you who've interacted with me online a lot may have noticed that I never use the term "lol". I'll say "ha ha", "heh", "hee hee", or any one of a number of such things, but I just don't dig "lol". I guess I'm a big fan of particular expressiveness; I find "lol" to not be terribly descriptive. And it certainly doesn't convey the feeling of actually laughing out loud very well. Especially since many people use it in nearly everything they post. And frankly, I ain't laughing at everything they post. It's rather lost any kind of meaning for me. Heck, a couple people even put some variation of "lmao" in nine out of ten statuses/tweets/etc.. I wonder, "What, isn't there a strong enough duct tape that can keep your ass attached while you laugh? You've lost it so many times now."

I also get rather turned off by so many discussions I encounter where about a third of the transmissions, including the last consecutive four, are just "lol". Maybe my sense of humor is just different from that of most people, but I am seldom laughing that much in one conversation. I tend to picture these "lol-ers" as just sitting there, sort of pretending to be amused — maybe making just a fraction of a chuckle with their breath, maybe two very short exhales through the nose, but very little show of emotion at all. And that's about how "lol" comes across to me — emotionless filler.

I rather hope that I don't find myself putting emotionless filler out there. Or that society should somehow compel me to. I kind of feel like I'd be holding my hands in the air and surrendering if I used "lol". Come to think of it... lol rather looks like a guy with his hands in the air.

And I probably should say, I don't completely distance myself from cyber-acronyms and similar initials. I'll use FTW on occasion, as well as a couple others that escape me just now. But LOL just doesn't do it for me. Nor do OMG or ROFLMAO. And I'll usually use an emoticon in place of "WTF": ¿-⌠ (Tilt your head like you would for :-), and you'll see it. Hopefully.)

Eight More Favorite Albums

So I thought I'd post something rather more positive after that lash at commercial radio below. Enjoy!

July - July

I can't believe I forgot about this one in the first "Favorite Albums" installment. This is one of the cornerstones of classic British psychedelia.

"Mothers say, stay away far as you can, friendly man."

Boston - Boston

So after my post about commercial "classic rock" radio, I go and endorse the album with More Than a Feeling on it. What the hey? Well, I happen to think that More Than a Feeling retains its freshness and just outruns the blurred line of overplayedness. Indeed, I think that the whole album retains a crisp, fresh and unique sound. Well, maybe Rock & Roll Band is just a bit stale.

"Now you're climbin' to the top of the company ladder / Hope it doesn't take too long / Can't you see there'll come a day when it won't matter / Come a day when you'll be gone."

Ananda Shankar - Ananda Shankar

Ravi's nephew released this marriage of East and West in 1970. I actually haven't spun this in a while; I need to again.

"He belongs equally to us all."

Frank Zappa - Joe's Garage

Zappa takes an utterly horrifying three-LP look at this society's views on music, taken to their logical extremes, as only the supernaturally intelligent Zappa can.

"I've got it — I'll be sullen and withdrawn. I'll dwindle off into the twilight realm of my own secret thoughts...."

Rainbow Ffolly - Sallies Fforth

Something lighter-hearted to follow up the insanity of Joe's Garage: an unfinished, playful pop-psych record from the UK in '68. Excellent pop songwriting, randomish non-sequitur segues....such qualities don't often show up on albums.

"Come on Noah! Eat up your curried unicorn!"

Steve Miller Band - Fly Like an Eagle

Les Paul's eager student flaunts his psychedelic side in 1976 with the finest in outer-space production, but not without acknowledging his roots. Just a captivating listening experience.

"We're lost in space, and the time is our own."

Anonymous - Inside the Shadow

That's just the band's name; they're not actually anonymous. What they are is a thoroughly excellent sort of hybrid of the Byrds, Jefferson Airplane, and maybe a touch of the kind of "power pop" that had established itself by 1976, when this came out. Wonderful, other-worldly sounds from Indianapolis.

"Will you ride?"

Sopwith Camel - The Miraculous Hump Returns From the Moon

From 1972. Think "Vaudeville in space". The album has some nice jazzy touches as well.

"Who's gonna go on all those trips in outer space?"

Fifteen (or Sixteen) Songs That Classic Rock Radio Needs to Forget

The appearance of this topic on here may puzzle many of you. "Cheshire Adams is a well-seasoned veteran of the music blogosphere and just about every musical outlet of the Internet. Why is he wasting space on terrestrial radio? That dump's been dead for years!" Well, suffice it to say that even with the mp3 player and all the contemporary conveniences, I still find myself trapped in a car with a closed-minded family member or two every so often. So I once again turn to my blog as an excuse to get this stuff off my chest. And I'm going to try to pick evenly and fairly from classic rock radio's limited range of artists — one from each overplayed artist.

Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody

I can hear all the Queen lovers and Wayne's World fans getting up in arms over this choice. The truth is, though it's a fine song on its own, cinematically sewing styles together, it has simply been played and heard far too often. Believe me, back when I was making my own mixtapes on cassette (I think I got up to eight and a half), before I discovered the blogosphere, this was on one of them. Alas, the commercial world has utterly robbed this song of its luster and rendered it a mundane lump of rock in a volcanic wasteland. But I may still listen to Weird Al's Bohemian Polka on occasion.

Foghat - Slow Ride

Oh my holy Zarquon, does this song ever end? It just goes on and on and on. It was only so good to begin with. This song has nothing to hold my interest, despite the ending that gradually speeds up as if approaching orgasm. No orgasm here, though; just another mundane "classic rock" radio song.

Foreigner - Cold as Ice

Foreigner left a few candidates for this list: "Hot Blooded", "Feels Like the First Time", "Jukebox Hero" ... but I think this one beats out the other hits in the forgettability department. "Hot Blooded" at least is cheesy in that Seventies style that never gets old. And I suppose I can grant "Jukebox Hero" its "pomp" value.

Pink Floyd - Time / Money

I couldn't decide between the two overplayed Dark Side of the Moon hits, so I picked them both. Hey, "time is money", right? Ha ha. Certainly overexposure renders them the same mind-numbingness that emanates from a radio tuned to a "classic rock" frequency.

The Who - My Generation

Televised and similar commercials might be in part to blame for this song having gotten stale. Sure, it was a vital cultural touchstone when it came out, but now? As Calvin (Hobbes the tiger's human) pointed out in one strip, the generation that created it is now the establishment. The song has become a symbol of the bland, greed-driven baby-boomer corporate culture that's gripped this country in bondage and pleasured itself all up in it. It's repulsive. (It's possible that Townshend and Daltrey realized this after just a few years; "Meet the new boss / same as the old boss", they sang in the Orwellian "Won't Get Fooled Again" in 1971.)

Bad Company - Can't Get Enough

Another band with plenty of choices — "Feel Like Makin' Love" and "Rock & Roll Fantasy" come to mind. This one, I decided, wins the blandness contest among Bad Company's big splashes in the classic rock cesspool.

Led Zeppelin - Whole Lotta Love

It's just been overplayed. Simple as that.

The Rolling Stones - You Can't Always Get What You Want

Use the "world's greatest rock & roll band" protest all you want; this thing is a snoozefest. "Sympathy For the Devil" is cuttin' it close as well.

R.E.M - The One I Love

R.E.M. ain't that great a band to begin with; they're kind of drone-y. This song tries so hard to be something; it's, like, almost there.....! But not quite. Drives me nuts.

The Eagles - Hotel California

Another song that could've been fine if stations would've played this song in greater moderation, even though I feel like I've heard certain musical elements of this song in something older. But the stations haven't done so. Also, I won't diss it outright as an official entry here, but "Peaceful, Easy Feeling" is boring.

Eric Clapton - Wonderful Tonight

All right, boring and overplayed sappy shit!

Stevie Nicks - Edge of Seventeen

Good God, this song just goes on and on and on. Stevie should have stayed with the Mac.

ZZ Top - Tush

Short, mercifully...but still overplayed and boring. Was there some kind of novelty value to this song at one point? 'Cause it's lost now.

Electric Light Orchestra - Don't Bring Me Down

For a non-overplayed take on the main riff here, may I suggest Atomic Rooster's "Can't Take No More"?

....Finally, Journey. I sense some of you have been eagerly awaiting a Journey entry on this list. And I ain't one to disappoint.

Journey - Any Way You Want It

Okay, maybe I do disappoint in that the choice isn't "Don't Stop Believin'", but I ain't quite that "hipster". I pick this song because, in addition to being mundane radio noise with none of the catchiness of DSB, this song also gets regularly whored out in commercials. I make reference to one particular commercial that's using it now in one of the selections in the Facebook roundup that's the post below this one. It's like "Oh my God, not this again! Somebody put a foot-long bullet in my head. So....boring!"

All right, that's all for now. I'm listening to fresher stuff as I type this, so I likely missed a few things that make me change the station. Skynyrd and later-era Aerosmith should probably make an appearance here somewhere. Anyway, have a great day!

EDIT 8-30-12: I'm adding a bonus entry, the suggestion thanks to Brian...

Manfred Mann's Earth Band - Blinded By the Light

This kind of long Springsteen cover is played out. And cutting out the solo doesn't make it much better; it's just kind of there. It could have been all right with lesser airplay, like the Earth Band's other Springsteen cover, "For You". That one has a certain freshness, although I think they chickened out replacing "lick my sores" with "fight my wars".

Okay, bye!

Facebook Selections, Pt. III

Not quite seven months this time.

These posts are crazy-long, aren't they?

"Look at you!" What is this condescending nonsense? "Look at you!" I know damn well what I look like or what I'm doing. I don't need the approval of some arrogant, self-righteous nitwit. Take a look at *your*self, why don't you? *I'm* going to look at the ladies!

While trying to light the Chanukah candles, the flame went out on us. Oops.

Often, the local lanes move faster than the express.

The child just wanted to gaze into the wrapping paper, while everyone else wanted to tear it apart.

(the night after Christmas) Well, I'd better get in line for my King Day shopping.

There should be a band called "Turns Out They Were Midgets. Who Knew?".

I'm just a bit of a ways down the interstate from Normal.

I'm tired of hearing about smart phones. I'd rather have a wise phone.

Just *some* of a sudden

I think I've figured out why dubstep and autotune are popular. Somewhere along the line, people discovered that the beat is the only thing people can hear in a crowded night space, and therefore all other aspects of the music could be absolute non-biodegradable fecal matter, long as the beat remained intact. Hey, even if they do hear other aspects of the music, everyone's drunk anyway.

First world problems: Feeling obligated to appear concerned for all humanity by describing some inanity on the Internet as a "first world problem".

i can haz original thoughtz

I was very self-absorbed growing up. It turns out they're saying "DE-FENSE". I always just heard "heave heh" and thought it was just some kind of good-time gibberish.

"I took a women's psychology class once .... That teacher was such a bitch!" —My mother

"Everything" bagels only have poppy and sesame seeds, and bits of onion. How is that "everything"? I demand everything from rubber to lilac on my each and every bagel! It's the Jewish version of Every Flavor Beans. Harry Pottman goes to Hogschwartz!

Your attention please: "Cheshire" rhymes with "pressure". That is all.

The Super Bowl: A celebration of the fact that we're just about done with football for a few solid months. Good.

"Mommy, why are you watching a show about mothers who kill their children?"

Cheshire sez: Business that is open is most likely to get business.

I hope this isn't "TMI", but I came to realize that the sound my toilet makes when returning from "flushed" to "ready" could totally pass as background for ambient music.

*ZIP!* —the sound of a deadline whooshing by. Also, how much of a damn I give.

Life's simple pleasures: Bubble wrap.

When I was growing up, my mother told me "don't be fresh". Well, what's the alternative to being fresh? Being rotten! Am I right?

I'm sorry, but I just cannot look at that and interpret it as something other than "Deadmau Five".

Accurate adjective is accurate

Inane meme is inane

If you're building your toolbox, where do you keep the tools when you take a break?

iDunno

Thought someone called my name, but I guess that was just the music.

on we: ennui

cunt-rol freak

Menards: what a Brit exclaims when he's hit in the groin.

Life's simple pleasures: A good chocolate shake; good live music; good times and laughs with groovy people; all those things together.

I think that, if the characters in a commercial are going to have a conversation made out of the lyrics of a pop song, the commercial should be prohibited from playing the actual song at the end. It's insulting to the viewers' intelligence.

Lately it occurs to me...the new Pepsi logo looks suspiciously similar to the Steal Your Face logo.

"Facebook us! We tow cars!" —rearrangable sign for a corner convenience store

Is there an opposite of "je ne sais quois"? You know, a certain UNendearing quality? Seems like there ought to be.

I am wholly against cat declawing, but I wouldn't mind dog delarynxing.

Beating a cold: Laying off some olfactory workers.

Baseball player: A ballpark figure.

There is nothing like the roar of really good seltzer.

We have an adjective "dreary", but we don't have a noun "drear". It would be useful for describing my father.

The problem with nice days is, battling flying pests all evening.

has-been
husband

Bud Light is using "Here We Go" as a signifier of a good time. Usually, when I say "here we go", it means my family is getting into a routine and wholly unpleasant argument. "Ugh, here we go..."

Apparently, "Washington University" is in St. Louis. This kind of thing might be why I never got into college sports.

Like a simile
it turns out I don't always
like a simile

Toilet paper should go over the roll. I take a firm stance on that.

For the Benefit of Any Readers Not in My Books of Faces

After eight arduous years, I'm finally graduating from UIUC. The official name of the degree is "Bachelor of the Arts in Creative Writing, Mathematics & Technology". In other words, jack of all trades and master of none. So, on I go from one interminable life phase to the next: Twenty years of schoolin', to Lookin' for a day shift. (Or a night shift; that would seem to coincide with my natural hours more nicely.) If anyone has some job suggestions, feel free to lay 'em on me. I think I want to work with people face to face. And travel.

Peace and love,
Cheshire Adams

Minimize

Another poem reliant on its visual layout. The name at the end has been changed to protect me.

Read it.......here.